i'm back.

hello.
i'm back in america.
and i'm sorry, i know at this point you're all so sick of my incessant blog postage, but like... really i don't even care. deal with it.

confession :  i super miss blogging every day. i feel so untethered, not having to constantly update my blog so that my mom can keep up with my life. 
because now that i'm in america, i basically just chill with my mom. all. the. time. nbd.

people keep getting mad at me.
people keep treating me like i'm a spoiled entitled white girl, because when they ask me "does it feel so good to be back home?" i respond with an honest "no."

....wait what ?
no, i'm really not thrilled to be back in utah.
let me explain.

it's like, i had a whole different life in paris.
    i rode the rer every day, i took classes in museums, i had metro lines memorized, i knew where to find all the best bathrooms, and where to buy all of the best food.
        i spoke french with french people and i was constantly surrounded by some of the things and the places that i love the most in the world.
            i lived in the suburbs with a cute little french couple. chilled at the eiffel tower, and the louvre, the tuileries, and montmartre in my spare time, just because i could.

and then one day,
it was just,
over.

and i'm still not really sure how to deal with that.
it still doesn't feel real.
my mind can't grasp the fact that kaileyinparis no longer exists.
that rer riding, french speaking, hot chocolate drinking girl...
that part of my life is just...done.
what ?

imagine if one day, you woke up in a completely different place, with a completely different schedule, in a completely different time zone, with completely different people, living a completely different way of life.

i feel untethered.
i feel mal à l'aise.
i feel tired. #jetlag (no but really, i wake up at 4am ready for lunch, by the time 6pm rolls around, i'm ready to sleep so hard. when will the jetlag end???)

please don't get me wrong, i love my family. i love my dog. i love my car, and i love that i can run down to costco and get free samples. i love that there are bathrooms everywhere, and i love the utah mountains...

but it's all so unreal at this point.

people keep smiling at me, and i keep not smiling back. because you don't do that in france.
i kind of panicked in walmart the other day because it was not carrefour, and why was everything so big ?
i get a little bit annoyed because i can't just hop on a train that'll take me wherever i want to go.
i miss my two euro coins.
 
i feel like kaileyinparis must still be happening without me somehow, because it's just too weird to think that that's over.

i'm scared that i'm forgetting french, so i basically just blast the french tunes and read french books all day long. that awkward moment when i'm pleasure reading my old textbooks.

i'm sorry.
no one wants to read about my readjustment to america. 
but i had to vent.

i know you're all rolling your eyes every time i get emotional over paris. i know. and i know you can't fully understand why i'm so sad to be home. but i left a little big piece of me in paris, and now i'm trying to put together all the rest of my pieces in an american sort of way, you know ?
does that even make sense ?
probably not. we'll blame it on the jet lag.

basically my new goal in life is to learn how to make awesome macarons.

and hey, honestly, despite how it may sound, i'm really not going to complain too hard, because : australia in 5 days.

(i take it back. my new goal in life is to hold a koala.)

so. to sum it all up:

readjusting is hard. 

le retour à la realité est compliqué.

i super miss paris, and my body is so confused...

but it has been nice to see all of my cute little americans.

and i'm beyond thrilled because : hello christmas in australia.

also, i'd just like to make a public apology for the thousands of pictures i'm in the process of posting on facebook. gotta store them all somewhere.

 thanks for tolerating me, mes amis. 

oh. p.s- check out my sweet christmas tree : 

 <3

no, you don't understand.

so.
lately, i feel like my life is just full of, "no, you don't understand"'s.

it all started with, picture this:
kailey was invited out for food with some work people.
work people started talking about "awkward moments."
i'm really good at staying quiet, but especially when awkward moment discussions come up. (unless i'm with kassidy and/or mariah. because...well. they actually do understand.)
anyway. don't you worry: work people did not overlook kailey.
"kailey, what's your most awkward moment ?"

haha. ha. ha. hahaha. ha. 

no. you don't understand.
kailey's life and awkward moment are basically synonymous.
like guys the awkward just doesn't really end. ever.
like, i actually can't just pick one moment, because the moments all kind of blur together into one big awkward ball of kind of weird, kind of great, super quirky kailey life. so that's fun.

buuut, really ? it's totes not even a problem, because it keeps life.... interesting. (pffft. and they say i'm not an optimist !)

okayokayokay.
next.
people keep asking me, "what's up ?!"
and i'm just like, "oh, you know, just living the dream !"
and they're like, "ouch, i feel ya."
and i'm like, "wait, no. you don't understand. that was a whole lot less sarcastic than it sounded."

because look. at. this:

• 61 days until paris. (please excuse the official blog countdown widget little thing. it's a bit off.)
• 159 days until australia. australia ! ohmygosh. australia.
• my daddy loves me and bought me some sexy steve madden boots. two pairs, mes amis. ---------------------------------------->
• thanks daddy <3
• i got a cookie at work the other day, for being a good worker. 
• no. you dont understand. i. love. cookies. love them.
• i have a pretty okay fine its boring but still decent job. and i get to work in french. which i sometimes love, and sometimes i just end up wondering if i actually know any french. (don't worry, i do.)
• i get to go see wicked tomorrow. yesssssssssss.

no, you don't understand. i'm literally living the dream. la vie est belle. 

next.

today at work i had a meeting with my team lead.

i'm a great worker. i exceed expectations almost everywhere.

but. um. ha. he did make a goal for me: try and initiate a conversation with people at work at least every. other. day..... (apparently people have legitimately asked him if i talk.) 

ha. haha.

no stop you don't understand.

i don't do well with the whole....."people" *shudders* thing.

like i actually don't know how to talk to other people. like, how do you even do that ? like...like...what ? talk to people that aren't my parents or roommates ? um.

and my mother is loving this team lead --i mean, i like him fine too, other than his bad jokes--because: sometimes ha makes me participate in games. and like, talk to people. 

she thinks i need to "work on my social life" and "get some friends" and "talk to people my own age" and "go on dates"

she also thinks i need to clean my room more often but that's irrelevant. 

ugh. mothers. (don't worry mom. i still love you.)

also.

in australia- i'll get to hold a koala !

no. you don't understand !

one time, someone told me that koalas are actually my spirit animal, because, quote : "they're cute, but they can be vicious. like you !) 

so i've looked into this whole koala thing. they sleep like, 18 hours a day, are very territorial and antisocial...

wait, what ? i think i'm a koala.

so basically, i'm like, so so so so so excited to get to hold one of those little furballs. (look at how cute their freaking noses are okay ?)

and like seriously ? look at this koala :

this koala and i, we are one. i feel deeply connected to this picture. like i think someone was trying to picturify (shh. its totes a word, okay ?) my life when they drew this. because : freaking koala on the eiffel tower. 

it's me. i feel it. 

oh yeah. and.
no. you don't understand. if you wear shorts under skirts/dresses, skirts/dresses actually become comfortable ! i was shocked too.

oh. and. i bore my testimony in french the other week during my talk at church.
no. you don't understand : i don't mind giving talks. like i just doodle all over some paper, jot down a few quotes and bam. i give my talk.  like it doesn't even make me nervous.
but apparently, bearing my testimony in french does make me nervous. but hey ! on the bright side: i didn't like, forget french or anything. sweet relief.

....so, do you understand now ?
no. probably not. but that's okay. at least i showed you a super sweet picture of a koala on the eiffel tower. right ?

hooray for friday tomorrow !
have a good one, mes amis.
<3

you deserve better.

um.
sometimes, when you're a kailey you just sit on your couch. and literally all you can think is completely random pensées like:
1. i do not like beards. i will probably never trust a man with a beard.
2. holy. cow. i'm so. bored. 
3. airplane tickets should be cheap. i would like that. 
4. i'm so white. i should get friends and like, go outside. or something.

• um. friends. how do i get some of those ?

5. i wish spanish+french+english was a real language. i'd probably be so much better at communicating.

...and then.

you remember:
  
i actually have something i need to get off my chest. 

so here it is:

there is a difference between being offended and just being bothered/fed up/harassed/bugged.
it is possible to not care what people thing about you, but still be annoyed that they are rude enough say it. 

there are some people in this world that you just don't need. 

they aren't necessarily bad people. and maybe they honestly aren't trying to bring you down.

...but they certainly aren't making your life any better. 

and:
you. do not. need. to deal. with people. who make you feel like less than you are worth. people who make you feel, maybe,

• harassed. 
• bothered. 
• upset.
• fed up.
• anxious.
• pressured to be someone or do something that you don't want to be or do.

dear reader,
dear world,
if you feel harassed by someone, if someone is seriously bringing you down, you need to take that relationship, and you need to end it. you need to toss it out the window. you need to throw it to the wind, and close your eyes as it blows away. 

but maybe you're worried about hurting that person's feelings. maybe you'd rather not cause a scene. maybe you're trying to give them a second/third/fourth/fifth/ chance.
no.
stop it.

you can give people chances to change. that is fine. but !

you do not need to give people more chances to hurt you.  

just because you forgive someone, 

doesn't mean you need to allow them 

the privilege of sticking around  

wonderful, beautiful, lovely you.

sometimes it's scary. and, duh, it probably will not be received well. 

but you deserve better. 

so:

forgive them. 

and then, let them go.

and let go of their memories.

let go of all of the stupid/mean/jerky/disrespectful/hurtful things they took, or said, or did. or didn't say. or didn't do.

and then walk away.

it's okay to do that, you know.

it's okay to remove people from your life. it's okay to ask people to leave. it's okay to make your world a little happier/lighter/easier.

so if you're looking for validation.

here it is! and, okay, fine. my permission probably isn't worth much. but if there is someone toxic in your life, no matter how hard or how scary or how intimidating it may be... you should, you can, you need to tell them to get out. 

because you deserve so much better. 

you deserve oceans that wave for you, and stars that shine for you, songs that are sung just to make you happy and presents just because, even when it's not your birthday. you deserve to be told jokes because your laugh makes the world a better place. you deserve people who know just how special you are, because you are special. 

you can not save everyone. 

but you can save yourself. 

so 1, 2, 3, go !

i'm rooting for you.

okay. rant over. 

have a nice night, cutie pies.

<3 

my hobbies include...

himynameiskaileyboucherandmyhobbiesinclude....
***warning, this post will probably just consist of a lot of rambling, and some of the following may be things that aren't actually hobbies, i just felt like writing about them***

hobby # 1
once upon a time my roommate...ex (sigh) roommate... and i decided: we have to hike the y.  because apparently that's just a thing. like, you have to do it. (okay, okay, this decision was made like, a year ago...but...)
so we hiked it. 
so super fast and we didn't even have to take any breaks because it was such an easy hike. 

the couple behind us didn't even start after us and finish before us.
they didn't even give us pitiful looks and/or sarcastic remarks when they passed us.
well you know what !? we were enjoying the view and we are actually allowed to go slow if we want to okay !?
but hey. it was a succesful hike.
you know, once we finally found the mountain.
 
hobby # 2
speaking in a terrible french accent is so liberating sometimes.

hobby # 3
less of a hobby and more of a habit : i've been having a really hard time keeping french and english separate.

like : englishenglishenglishohmerdefrancaisenglishenglish.

also i've started using the word ameliorate. because it's basically just like the french word améliorer. and i feel so nice and sneaky when i use it, because its almost like speaking french that english people can understand. whaaaaaaat.

hobby # 4
did you know the boucher family is actually professional at taking family selfies ? my 11 year old brother is a little bit selfie obsessed and it scares me. we've created a monster...


hobby # 5
i can touch my tongue to my nose, and if you want to hear an embarrassing good story, just ask me how i acquired this skill, some time.


hobby # 6
i really like to send reallysuperrandom texts to people. mostly my (ex) roommates. and my mom. because they don't judge me. or they probably do, but they deal with it. thanks guys.

hobby # 7
i like to give shout outs to people on my blog.
shout out to kassidy for just being kassidy.
shout out to katie who gets to go to africa in like, what 29 days ? 
shout out to my french professor who still hasn't emailed me back.
shout out to logan for listening to me complain about my patheticsociallifeproblems last week. multiple times.
shout out to cookies because cookies are delicous. 

hobby # 8
i like to eat crepes and make countdowns. sometimes at the same time, but not necessarily. 

hobby # 9
my family went to vegas and saw the blue man group and it was so super great.  i like to see shows. also i get to go see one republic on june 14 so.

hobby # 10
i like to listen to people speaking not english. specifically french, but any language will do. it's just so attractive, you know ?

hobby # 11
i like to travel and i'm going to montreal in 4 days !!

hobby # 12
i like to read and if you haven't read the fault in our stars go read it because it's amazing and where is my augustus waters, please ? and then go see the movie when it comes out because that looks amazing, too. 

hobby # 13
talking to kassidy about how nice it would be to like, have a social life, and keeping track (still with kassidy) of how long it's been since either of us went on a date.
(over a year. for both of us. woohoo.)

hobby # 14
i just appreciate belting some random lyrics sometimes, you know ? like it just feels so good. 


annnnnd, before i close this blog post, i would just like to say:

to whomever it may concern :
stop pronouncing it "mawntreal."
it's "muhntreal" 
for real.
gracias
merci
thanks

sincerely, 
kailey   

life advice.

so i just have some things i want to say.
some "life advice," if you will.
(i'm not actually a life advice expert) (what !? i know.) there are just some things i'd like to casually throw out there.

***the following are in no way guaranteed to actually improve your life...but...***

10 tips for a (more) successful life. 

1. just bring an umbrella.
1. not a cheap one. 
2. do not keep reeses in your warm purse next to your minty gum. 
3. when bedtime fails: naps. naps are good.
4. --->boys: do not try to win over a girl by saying "you're just too awkward. and shy. none of your relationships will ever work out."
•  just don't do it.  
• just. don't. <---

1. if you don't know a fish's name, here is a simple solution: rename it:    (color)    +     (y)    
• for example: pink fish= pinky. 
• it works, i promise.
2. if you're trying not to eat bread or sugar, but really want a treat, this recipe is super delicious.
3. just because you aren't mad at someone, does not mean that you have to talk to them. if they're bringing you down, or just being downright punk-heads...adios.
4. always keep a jacket in your car. 
5. if you see gas for fairly cheap, just. fill. up. because the price might, i dont know, go up 20 cents 2 days later.
6. don't leave the house without headache medicine. or chapstick !
7. when in doubt: go read a book. it just makes you feel good. 
8. its cool... normal... okay to text your old roommates 20 times a day. comic relief.

okay. this is like the shortest blog post in the history of forever... but ! i certainly feel better.
and look: i may not be an expert at life or anything, but i feel like some of that advice was pretty solid.
so.

hasta luego. 

i live in saratoga springs.

so remember, like, 8 months ago when i wrote my second blog post ever? remember it was called i live in provo?
(because you all probably memorize my posts and their dates. right.)
anyway.
guess what guys: i don't live in provo anymore!

kailey is home for the summer.
-king size bed
-my dog
-my own bathroom (for real though, this is probably what i'm most excited about.)
-i take it back, i'm more excited about the free food.
-no homework

moving out was the saddest thing. i literally got the best roommates in the whole wide world. literally. heavenly father obviously loves and knows me, because i just don't think i could have done a year of college without those 2 awesome wonderful hilarious girls. i cannot think of any 2 people i would have rather roommed with.

except for maybe my mom, but she doesn't go to college. {shout out to mom: you may not be in college, but you certainly look like you could be!}

i'm going to miss brownie nights, comparing "guess how socially awkward i was today" stories, going on roommate dates because boys actually are unaware that we exist, wearing matching neon tights, going to dances even though we can't don't dance, decorating our dorm with awesome dollar store finds, dressing up thor, bonding over food (because how else do people even bond?), procrastinating together, going ice skating, laughing at stupid things we found on pinterest, people watching out of our open windows on sunday mornings as we make cakes, googling what to do in provo because we are so bored and have no friends, complaining about silly things, giggling at things that probably weren't even that funny...i could go on and on and on.

look how cute we are. notice thors bunny ears! also please notice the stockings still hanging above our heads. every day was christmas, in apartment 123.

i just really love love love my roommates. [ex roommates, technically? ugh.]

but you know what almost sucked even more than having to separate from those girls?

packing.

and you know what sucks even more than packing?

unpacking.

want to know how to make packing/unpacking a little less awful!? 

when your roommate hides candy-and she is seriously the best candy hider ever ever ever- so that as you are packing and unpacking, random pieces of candy keep popping up!

seriously; i'm still finding random candy hidden in my clothes, shoes, blah blah blah. 
some of my favorite hiding places so far include: 

hiding in my bed/sheets, on top of the doors, balanced on wires, in my popcorn kernels(!!), shoved into the doorjamb(!), and balancing on my hangers!

why is kassidy so cool? i want to be as cool as kassidy one day.

so that's that.

i live in saratoga springs again.

working alllll summer (i even took on more hours. sigh.)

saving, saving, saving money.

p.s- dear soon to be college freshman: i'm not saying that moving out and getting roommates you've never met before is the only way to go. i've definitely heard some roommate horror stories. 

but don't throw the idea out the window. consider it. it might be so super worth it.  

have lovely weekends, everyone!

<3 

dear soon to be freshman.

whaaaaaat.
i have like, 2 days of class left, and they're review days. so really they don't quite count.
do you even know what that means??
i'm basically done with my first year of college.

*discretely checks for grey hair*

*worries about wrinkles*

anyway. since i'm basically a pro at succeeding in college now, i thought i'd write a list of my most helpful tips for college freshman.
(but actually i hope any soon to be freshman who read this end up more social than me. for their sake anyway. i kind of like being a partial loner.)

1. i swear on my life that: investing in a good (more than 7$- at least) umbrella is worth it. take my advice and avoid that awful first storm where your 4$ walmart umbrella (which in my experience, might only last a minute for every dollar you paid) breaks, and you are drenched all. day. long.
2. on the other hand, its totally fine to buy some things cheap. 
1. dollar store napkins
2. dollar store decorations
3. dollar store oven pads
4. dollar store pens
5. dollar store halloween candy
6. dollar store wrapping paper for the cheesy gifts you buy your roommates.
• i was (am?) a dollar store frequent shopper. 
3. please read my post about how to be a good roommate. [<---linking stuff like a pro. i totes work for an seo company.] i may suck at the whole "social life" thing, but my roommates and i know how to be freaking awesome roommates. we have literally never fought. being a good roommate honestly isn't that hard.
4. dorms are funner when you decorate.
5. learn to share a bathroom.
6. buy cheap water bottle packs if you know you hate tap water. 
7. choose a major that you absolutely positively freaking love. i don't really know what i'll do with french, but i know that i love it. and i have so much fun talking about it and in it and i like to brag about it and im probably just vain but my major is probably the best decision i've ever made.
• that being said- don't rush the decision
• that being said, don't wait 3 years to decide either.
8. buy a freaking great, warm jacket. worth it. so worth it. (unless you're one of those lucky weenies who chose a school with good weather all freaking year.)
9. find your classes before the first day of school.
• maybe bring a map anyway on the first day just to be safe. 
10. college is so fun. also a fresh start. if you wanna make a change, do it now.
11. maybe i'm just a party pooper, but bedtime is not a bad idea. 
• i can't believe i'm saying this but: it's also probably okay to ignore bedtime once in a while.
12. don't fall behind on dishes. talk about a hypocrite..ha. ha. ha.
13. study. another point to the hypocrite! 
14. brownie nights!
15. (the irony of this being placed after brownie nights is not lost on me.) the freshman 15 is a real thing, and it is also completely avoidable. don't be that person. it's totally okay to eat some junk when you're out partying with your roommates or what not, but don't go crazy! don't eat like you've never seen food before. 
16. call your parents.  
17. even if you have enough money to not have to work- get a job! the extra money will never hurt.
18. look into study abroads! i know they're expensive. i know. but if anything is worth your time and money, i'm convinced it's that. if you really think study abroads are just too expensive: internships are so much cheaper. please just do it.
19. do something crazy! take a fun class. be creative. try something new. just do it!
20. stop caring what other people think. you'll be so much happier if you do. 
21. make new friends. even i did it!
22. if you're going to byu- look for the ducks! they're so. fun. also take french. cause that's so fun, too. like, so so so fun.
23. don't feel bad about yourself if you don't have boys falling all over you. take yourself on dates. or! better yet: roommate dates! 
24. join a club. i recommend french club to any future byu-ers.
25. get a good backpack.
26. go to dances even if you can't dance! one day you might surprise yourself and suddenly know how to bust an embarrassing move!
27. START A BLOG! (capital letter for super, super emphasis!) or something. document everything! blogs are great because in journals, you think: i'll remember that, i dont need to write it down! (ha.ha.) but, on blogs, you write crazy details just to keep people informed. bam. recorded forever.
28. don't be scared. campus is big, the people are new, but soon enough, you'll be a college pro, too! (check that unintentional rhyme, yo!)

anyway. i probably have more advice. heck, maybe i'll write a part two sometime. (by maybe i mean: yeah, i probably will.)
but i'm hungry. so.
off to get some lunch!

have a great day,
cutie pies. <3

ode to ducks.

it all started innocently enough; my passion for ducks.
heck, maybe i'm just a sucker for birds...but we'll save the pigeon story(ies?) for another day.
anyway.
ducks.

once upon a time, i was translating a blog at work.
i had to tie in a soap commercial about ducks, to the phrase "baignade interdite"(translation: swimming prohibited.)

one thing lead to another, and before i knew it, i had come up with this incredibly cheesy motivational blog post. my favorite phrase, by far was : "maintenant je dis 'baignade interdite!' et je le dis pour les canards."
translation: now i say 'swimming prohibited!' and i say it for the ducks.
woah. can. you. feel. the motivation?
take a moment. let it sink in.

translating that blog was a pretty big moment for me. you could even say: it changed me.
since that day, i have credited many random verbalizations to the ducks. it just feels good.

so you can imagine the excitement i felt upon realizing that: ducks basically rule byu campus. 
no, really. i dont know where all of these little dudes come from, but they. are. everywhere.
and i love them. (also i'm a little bit scared of them. because: they can beak you.)

[beak: \ˈbēk\ verb.
when a bird uses its beak to attack you.]

anyway. they bring me so much unexpected joy as i stroll around campus, that i feel that it would be ungrateful of me if i didn't publicly honor les petits canards.
alors,

ode to ducks.

eh, bonjour monsieur canard!
i love you!
(please don't beak me.)

i love the way you waddle around,
just waiting for someone to throw you some food.

i love that when my french class goes outside,
you decide to join us. just because you can.
do you care about your education?
or did the bag of skittles draw you in?

i love the way you 
quack
   quack
      quack.
try as i might, i can never do the sound justice.
(and i do try.)

thank you for not having giant teeth.
it makes the risk of being beaked much less prominent.
(but it's still a valid fear, so please keep your distance.)

little duck, i dont know where you come from.
but you definitely make campus a better place.
also, i bet you never even have a problem following the honor code.
(but beaking someone would probably count as breaking the honor code...so.)

oh to be a duck,
and mindlessly waddle around campus,
no homework, no cares...
just being fed random scraps of food.
waddlewaddle. yum. waddle.
      waddle.

petit canard,
you are so funny. 
pour toi, je dis toujours:
baignade interdite. 

so you just keep on waddling, little duck.
and i'll see you when i get out of class.

and now, undoubtedly the best part of this post...

i present to you....

random duck sightings. 

**partial photo cred to katie. thanks, cupcake.

okay. 
sorry for the randomness...
but actually not sorry...
i did it for the ducks, you know. 

....bedtime for kailey.
night, cutie pies.
<3

winning life: roommates and march madness for dummies.

perhaps you are confused. why does the title of this post claim to have march madness information for sports dummies?
you're probably thinking: oh, the irony! isn't kailey, like, the sports dummy?

1. first of all, rude. 
2. but, fine. a little bit true.
3. for your information: i love march madness. 
4. (no. i still do not like basketball.)

anyway.
why do i love march madness so much?

i love to win.
it's what i do.
mostly i just like prizes.
my family has a yearly march madness competition. my daddy offers a 50$ prize.
i still remember the day he first offered that beautiful 50$. it was like, all of a sudden: i cared about money sports.

and, i'll have you know: i won that year.
so. in case you're like i used to be, and really couldn't care less about sports, but have suddenly found yourself interested in some friendly march madness competition...
i'm about to share all of my best "how to win march madness" strategies. (they've been almost proven fairly successful. so there's that.

when creating a march madness bracket, i would urge you to consider the following:

1. look at the little number beside the team. (on the bracket.) (i never claimed to be competent in sports terminology.) like, okay, if you have a 9 team going against a 1 team..."we're number one!" isn't this just obvious?
2. maybe you choose to forgo the little numbers; cool. i like to live on the edge too. the next important thing to consider is team colors. pick the team who has better colors.
3. shoot! you like both teams colors? easy. which team lives in a warmer place?  which one is closer to a beach?
4. lastly- and use this one at your own risk, because its test results have yet to be seen- which teams state would you rather vacation in?

now!
moving on to bigger and better things:

my roommate and i were texting each other today, and i really thought what we came up with was too valuable not to share.
so, i give you....

how to get along with your roommates, for dummies!

1. roommates that eat together, stay together. <3
2. boys cause unnecessary problems. not that we would really know. just go on dates with your roommates.
3. get super lucky and end up with a roommate that likes to clean the bathroom. do your part and tackle the leaning tower of dishes when cleaning checks come around.
4. respect bedtimes. this includes but is not limited to: no screaming in the stairwells at 2 am.
5. constantly re-decorate with random dollar store finds. the dollar store outings are great bonding time.
6. skip ward activities sometimes. oh gosh, i'm a sinner. your roommates are your family.
7. one man is enough. as long as he is made out of cardboard. and dresses up for each holiday.
8. if you all share one bathroom, and someone is in the shower but you literally have never had to pee so badly in your life, its okay to ask permission to use the toilet. heck. maybe even make up a secret knock that means : "hi, i'm coming in to pee."
9. sharing is caring. share in each others successes. everything anyone in the apartment does contributes to the overall success of all the roommates. so duh... every time one of you succeeds? you should probably all reward yourselves.
•  for example: sweet! kassidy got an a on her econ test? we'd better all go buy brownies. 
10.  be fine tuned in the art of knowing your roommates thoughts. this could come in handy during apples to apples. ewww. games. at least we won. (play it safe and always choose food related cards). winning games is nice because: as previously mentioned, you've got to reward success.
11. keep a mental list of things that should be free and/or reasons that boys have it easier than girls. this will give you a common point of complaint that is not each other.
12. make your roommates delicious food every once in a while. you don't need a reason. delicious food is the reason.
13. just accept the fact that sometimes you might have to gain your freshman 15 in one night. eating french fries. it's probably worth it. you'll jog across campus later to get to your car and that'll cancel everything out....right?? (just to be clear- i didn't actually gain 15 pounds. so.)
14. bond with your roommates by texting them little updates about your day. especially all the awkward moment stories. (its fine if they don't reply.) this will at least give you the warmth of knowing that you made your roommate chuckle.
15. dont be afraid to be weird with your roommates. if you all flirt with your food (yes, flirt with your food) enough... eventually you might be surprised to find that: you've actually acquired some valuable social skills!
16. disregard the opinions of those not living in the apartment. irrelevant! unimportant!
17. go to lots of dances even if you suck at dancing and have a fear of socializing. it might not be fun, but the awkward stories will be priceless.
18. passive agressively plan out your revenge on loud neighbors before you go to bed every night. even though you'll never follow through with the brilliance you discuss,  it just feels good to get it out there. 
19. if a boy wont stop bothering your roommate: keep yourself between them and your roommate. that's true love. 
20. if you and one roommate have to fake a bathroom break because of anxiety, and you leave the other roommate socializing and helpless: don't actually go to the bathroom. immediately begin making an escape plan for the roommate left behind.

i promise: these work.
my roommates and i have never even had an argument.
but that could just be because we are perfect.
just kidding.
sort of.

anyway. now i'm off to class. (booooooo.)

good luck with all of your roommate and march madness adventures, cutie pies!
<3

***roommate advice cowritten/texted by kassidy manuel.***

apparently i missed something...

okay, okay, okay.
i don't mean to freak anyone out, or anything.. but i think there is some sort of serious illness going around provo.

it all started a couple of weeks ago, innocently enough. 
my roommates and i showed up to church.
(you know, our singles ward.)
we sat down.
we looked around.

wait. why is everyone paired up?
why are all the girls wearing engagement rings!?

i'm just worried.
everyone seems to be infected with a bad case of "i have to get married immediately", and hey, that's great. maybe you're super in love, and all that jazz. cool. good.
and i get it. the semester is coming to an end soon, time is running out...wouldn't want to miss your chance, right? i mean, that's why we all came to byu anyway. to get married. right? wait! i thought i was here to like...learn or something?! 
but i just...really? you met him this month, and bam! "hey let's spend the rest of forever, together!"
...
whaaaaaaaaaaat?

i honestly don't understand why all of these little baby 18 year olds want to get married so badly. don't you want to like... i dont know... live a little first? or here's an idea: date your future spouse for more than 3 weeks, before agreeing to marry him/her?

how do you even get know someone well enough to marry them in. a. month?!?
i've had a loaf of bread in my freezer for longer than that! you don't see me trying to marry it now, do you!?
(in case it was unclear: no, i have no plans to marry bread.)
(although i do really like bread....hmmm...)

so.
(not that i would know the perks of not being single...but still.) here's a little list of:
why it's great to be single: 

1. you can decide to do completely random study abroads.
2. you can live with really cool roommates, and you can have roommate dates together. and shop for crazy makeup and dresses and other random crap together.
3. freedom.
4. it's actually okay to be alone. like, you might get to know yourself without having to worry about trying to impress some random guy/girl.
5. you can flirt with food. (to get a reaction, of course.)
• okay, fine. maybe this isn't exactly normal. but it's super entertaining. 
• especially when you get your roommates in on it, and everyone at the grocery store thinks you're mentally ill.
• par exemple: hello chocolate. i love you. got any plans friday night? 
• oh my gosh what is wrong with me.
6. you never have to dress up for awkward dates. 
• pajamas for life, yo.
7. you only have to cook for yourself! (this might not be as exciting if you eat enough for two on your own.) (but who does that? that'd be ridiculoso.) (oops. guilty.)
8. bedtime is super easy when it's just you. hooray for 10:00! (except for on the weekends. and thursdays.)
9. you don't have to worry about losing an engagement ring. heaven knows, i would.
10. you only have to clean one set of dishes. assuming you clean your dishes, that is. (the struggle is real.) 

look. i'm not saying don't get married.  i'm just saying: hey, maybe if you're 18, just met the guy last month and have never dated before now...you should hold off a bit longer.

not that i'm a dating/marriage expert. 

hey. did you know birthday cake flavored oreos are a thing?
you're welcome.

also. i'm going to paris in 190 days.
and. i'm going to montreal in 84 days.

oh my gosh when will school just be over already?

oh. and. high five to the random guy in the hallway who decided to take up a sarcastic "come play with us!" offer during our work meeting.
(no, he was not an employee. just a foreign looking and sounding dude, who lives in wolverine crossing and apparently likes games enough to sit in the hallway of his apartment complex and deal with the awkwardness of not knowing the people you are playing with.)  
oops...hooray for run on sentences!

on a completely random note: i would encourage everyone in the whole wide world to learn another language.
it honestly feels like you have a super power.
and you can say whatever the crap you want, and probably no one will understand.
and job opportunities.
so go learn another language! or two.
or three. 
i dare you.

anyway.
have a lovely weekend, my dears.
do something crazy. like...stay up past bedtime. or something. 
<3

seriously? seriously.

salut, cutie pies.

let's make this post interesting with a nice story, shall we?

great.
story time!

once upon a time, i was at a work meeting.
we were playing a game (you should all know how i feel about games by this point; unnecessary stress, i tell you!)
anyway.
it was my turn to speak.

please pause for a brief glimpse into my mind.
am i
a. shy
b. quiet
c. painfully unaware of how to talk to people (no. seriously; how. do. you. converse. with real. live. humans?)
d. antisocial
e. b and c
f. a and d
g. all of the above
***p.s- i don't even know the answer.
(these are the kinds of deep, self assesing things i think about during work meetings.)

-back to the story-
it was my turn to speak.
apparently i wasn't being quite loud enough. so, naturally, boy next to me tells me (good naturedly) to speak up. 
(i don't do well with people telling me what to do; he was unsatisfied with my efforts or the lack thereof.)
next was his turn. he decided heck, it'd be funny if i copied kailey's quiet mumble.
and sure. it was funny. (well...not that funny.) but hey. i can totally handle people poking fun at me. after all,  my family's first language is basically sarcasm.

apparently he felt bad about this whole ordeal, though. maybe it has something to do with my natural lack of a smile? he probably thought i was sending him death glares or something. oops. it happens.

after the meeting, he came to apologize.
i told him "no big deal, pal."
shocked, he replied "really?"...awkward pause..."aw man! great, i knew you wouldn't mind!" *please picture a giddy smile, and read the previous sentence in a: we're pals, we go way back, i know you so well tone *
(we don't go way back, he doesn't know me at all.)

he begins to walk away.
wait. he actually decides he has more to say.
"do you mind if i...make fun of you again some other time, then?

what i thought: wait. did you seriously, honestly, legitimately, really just ask that? who the heck asks permission for that sort of thing?!
what i said: uhh....go for it..?

guys. this consent was such exciting news for him, apparently.
also: dont worry. he gave me permission to poke fun at him, too.

i still don't even know how to react to this story.

1. does the general population assume that i have no personality, and cannot handle sarcasm? (maybe i don't want to know the answer to that. maybe i already know the answer to that.)
2. why do people get so excited when i talk sometimes? fyi guys- i'm not mute. (shocking, i know.)
3. who asks permission to joke/tease/make fun of another person? (him, apparently.)
4. ......seriously? seriously.

it's just been a weird day, okay?

...i probably have more to say..... buuuuut....
i'm too tired to keep writing.
maybe i'll post again over the weekend?

let me just end by saying: if you get bored this week- consider taking a walk (weather permitting).
i thoroughly enjoyed  a leisurely walk to the temple this week.

lovely, no?

can i get a hallelujah for the awesome weather utah has been having?
(hallelujah!) (amen!) (praise the heavens!)

okay. seriously bedtime.

goodnight, cutie pies.

<3

p.s- 196 days until paris.