1 year.

a year ago today i was getting on a plane, heading to paris for three months. if you know me at all, you know that, at the time, that was a huge feat for kailey; moving to paris for 3 months without my mother. i never could have imagined what the year following that day had in store for me. the past 365 days have been c r a z y. i've been in so many countries, seen so many things and met so many people. i've had some 12 out of 10 days and some -4 out of 10 days. 

anyway. i'm feeling nostalgic (what else is new?) so i thought i'd make a list of what each of the past twelve months has taught me.

***i apologize in advance okay, i have a lot to say***

september taught me that i can do hard things. i can do scary things. i'll probably cry a little bit (or a lot; throw back to the night before my mom left after flying with me to paris) but i can do things that i never thought i would want to or have the opportunity to do. (so can you, btw.)

october taught me that differences are important. i think that the best way to truly understand yourself is by finding yourself in other people. 

november taught me that, even from thousands of miles away, my parents will be there for me. like, even if i find myself stuck in amsterdam because of a train strike. i remember thinking, the night that my dad had to help me find tickets back to paris, if my dad on earth loves me this much, how much must my father in heaven love me? i mean, no one does more for me than my parents, no one wants more for me than my parents. november taught me that my heavenly father loves me even more than that.

december taught me that visiting new places will teach you more than you can imagine about yourself, about other people, and about life in general. a classroom simply cannot teach you how life-changing the hamburgers in australia are, or the crepes in france are, or the stroopwafel in amsterdam is. a classroom cannot teach you how it feels to walk into a french pharmacy and explain, in french, to the pharmacist what your symptoms are. a classroom will never teach you how it feels to ride a ferry and look at the thousands of jelly fish below you, or how, even if you're not an art person, you'll probably love the louvre and the orsay at least a little bit. if you really want to learn something, hop on a plane and prepare for your life to change a little bit. 

january taught me that sometimes, getting out of bed in the morning feels like running a marathon, and if that's the best you can do, just keep holding on, because you are a fighter and you can do this. january taught me that you never know what people are going through. january taught me to go out of your way and be kind because you just n e v e r  k n o w. 

february taught me that it really doesn't matter what you're doing, but who you're doing it with. february taught me that maybe some people don't deserve your love, but you're going to love them anyway. february also taught me that real friends do not get jealous when they see you happy. 

march taught me that when it comes down to it, if someone isn't willing to make time for you, they don't deserve your time. if someone wants you in their life then they will make an effort to keep you there.  even if they have a full time freaking job okay? don't waste your time on someone who says they are too busy for you. that's a pathetic excuse and you deserve better.

april was like my own personal hell (excuse my language). april taught me that sometimes just when you think life couldn't get any more miserable, it does. sure, life could always be better, but it could probably also always be worse. #perspective

may taught me that, while running away probably isn't the solution, sometimes it's the best way to clear your head. change up your scenery, send a postcard, eat foreign food until you feel like your stomach can't possibly hold anymore; escape real life for a little bit. you deserve a break once in a while. 

june taught me the importance of talking. talk about your problems until you can't possibly come up with anything new to say about them. talk until you run out of words, and when you think you've run out of of things to say, keep talking. all of those words have been floating around in your brain for so long, they need to escape so that your brain can hold new ones. kinder ones. happier ones. it might take a long time, but be patient; you'll get there.

july taught me that america is actually a great place to be. driving with the windows down blasting country music and singing at the top of your lungs is a lot more therapeutic than you might think. july also taught me too keep trying. just because one thing doesn't work, doesn't mean something different won't. you will figure things out eventually. 

august. gosh. what didn't august teach me? august taught me that even though the things you go through seem hard, you probably could have gone through much worse. maybe what you went through was the easiest way for you to have learned something. sure, life seems hard as heck sometimes... but i promise that everything happens for a (good) reason. august taught me that you don't always need answers. it's okay to float along and wait for life to happen. august taught me that karma is real, even though it sure does seem to take its time. august taught me that speaking up is important. august taught me that  forgiving someone does not mean allowing them to be a part of your life. you deserve better than to live in your past. it's okay to move on.

this year taught me that
everything happens for a reason, even if you don't always understand that reason.and more importantly: when life knocks you on your knees, it might not be a bad idea stay there and pray until you are strong enough to stand back up.

basically :
here's what i've learned about life: mediocrity is deliciously, temptingly easy. some days, i'm sure i'd be completely content to live life at like, a 6 out of 10 on the goodness scale, you know? like, i don't need great days, and i don't want awful days; decent days are my comfort zone. unfortunately, you don't learn much from sub par. i think it's safe to say that some of life's most important lessons come from the 1 out of 10 days and the 10 out of 10 days.

fyi- actually maybe the most important thing that i learned this year is that poulet fromage and nutella banane crepes from the crepe stand by the pompidou make everything better. always. 

so... i could probably turn this post into a short novel with all of the things i still have to say, but i will refrain. if anyone needs me, i'll just be drowning my 'a year ago i was starting the happiest adventure of my life and now im stuck in provo' sorrows in some brownies or something.

okay. 
sorry; i'm a rambler. 
love you all. 
<3
 

on bullying, and just being kind in general.

so, remember in elementary school, when everyone and their dogs were constantly proclaiming themselves as anti-bullies, because a zero bullying policy was just kind of the cool thing to say you were into?

but like, despite all of the no bullying assemblies and the golden rule poster hanging in the front of your dingy, smells-like-dirty-kids-in-a-too-small classroom, you probably felt bullied a little bit, at some point, right? because that's just what happens when you are a human:
people say mean things to you, and hurt your feelings, and you say mean things, and hurt feelings and maybe it wasn't even intentional, but, it happened.

and then you went to middle school and high school, and those were kind of awful too. i mean, they weren't all bad, (shout out to the free period i had senior year) but like, there was probably someone at some point that you dreaded seeing, at least just a tiny bit..

a teacher,
a friend,
a boy,
a girl,
some kid who seemed to hate you for no apparent reason,
...the bus driver?
[idk.]

but you dealt with it, cause that's what humans do.
we suck it up and we deal.

and then you graduated, and you were like, sweet. done with that crap hole, praise the heavens.

only to find out, that wow.
people in the real world, are still people. and sometimes people aren't very nice. and there's probably still someone or something that you wake up dreading. because: life.
what a crappy realization that was, amiright?

but, so, anyway.
i was internetting the other day, and i came across this gem:

thank you.

why is everything a competition? why are we constantly comparing what we have to what other people have to what we could have to what they might have to what blah blah blah.

i mean. 

why can't we just be nice, you know?

why can't we just be kind and real and honest and why can't we be happy for people, even if they have things we don't have? [don't get me wrong, i'm guilty of it too, because #human. but. i feel like it's pathetic and we, as humans, should work on this.]

~like, i really think all of us can work on this~

the ones using people, ignoring feelings; other people's and their own,

the ones focused on how things look, rather than how things are,

the ones saying mean things out of jealousy,

the ones who can't be happy unless they're on top,

the ones with guns (whether those guns be words, or actual guns with bullets and harmful intentions),

the ones egging houses and keying cars,

the ones typing hurtful things that they'd never say,

the ones saying hurtful things that they'd never want said,

the ones lying about where they go to school, or how they feel, or what they want,

the ones playing with hearts and messing with heads, 

the ones disappearing from lives without an explanation because confrontation is scary, 

the ones who don't realize how valuable something as simple as their company is,

the ones who are scared; of being hurt, of commitment, of feeling, of leaving the house,

the ones who are depressed, or anxious, or sick, or different, 

the ones who bully and the ones who are bullied; 

               heck, maybe they're the same person.

goodness, we throw our words around as if they are less than the power to change everything.
we wake up, and we make the easy choices, the less scary choices, and we end up being responsible for somebody's lack of love, and we don't even realize it. we don't even realize it.
we don't even realize the power we have in the things we say and write. in the way our hands help and our eyes notice and our hearts swell.

we don't even realize.

i'm not saying it's intentional [and if it is, shame on you.]
i'm just saying: sometimes, the general population....well, we aren't very nice. 

i'm just saying, let's learn to be happy for people,
let's remember that we're all trying to make it,
and that trying looks different for everyone,
and that, yeah, our goals may look different, but when it comes down to it, isn't our goal the same? don't we just want to love and to be loved and to find happiness?

people are fragile, and maybe that water damaged, faded, laminated golden rule hanging in the back of your 1st grade classroom didn't seem like much back when you were 6, but it was and it is and it forever will be.
i mean.....
just: treat other people the way you want to be treated. 

gosh, i don't know, you guys.
i'm just saying.
k?

applying knowledge.

so, it has recently been brought to my attention, that there might be slight irony in the fact that: i speak multiple languages, but i don't actually...you know, speak proportionally to the amount of words i probably have in my head.

that's a valid point.
nothing to argue there.
i just thought it was funny; it's true. you'd think i'd speak up a bit more, considering all of the little words partying up in my brain...
it's not that i don't have a lot to say. i do have a lot to say. no but like holy cow, sometimes i just have so. much. to say. 
i'm just very selective about the thoughts i actually voice.
i'm working on it.
really.

but okay.
something exciting happened.

so we all know i speak french.
i also speak spanish.
also i've taken a couple of years of asl.

i think, if you were to have asked me, say, 10 hours ago, i would have been like: yeah the likelihood that i'll ever put those 2 years of asl to use is about -4 out of 10.

but then today, life was like: lololol. surprise, kailey.

{a quick tangent about freaking life and its surprises: have you ever noticed how, life will give you exactly what you think you don't want/aren't prepared for/didn't see coming... and then you'll learn to deal with it, and life will be like, lol, k, here comes the next surprise ! life is such a brat. yo, calm down on the sass, dude.}

so anyway. we have a new deaf lady in our ward.
[she's so so super nice.]
and so i saw her in the hallway at church today, and introduced myself (with what minimal asl knowledge i have retained over the year it's been since i've practiced.)
then. she was like hey, wanna help me out and try and interpret for me during relief society ?

*gulp*
um...like, okay how do you feel about a whole. lot. of finger spelling ?
because that happened. a whole freakin lot of finger spelling.
omg you guys. it was such a train wreck. i mean, i definitely got the main points across... but.

1. yes, there was a lot of finger spelling. a lot. and you know, that was made particularly difficult by the fact that my hands were shaking with the vigor of a "10 on the richter scale" earthquake.
2. like did i even learn anything during those two years ? wait, what's the sign for woman again ? but hey, thanks byu. definitely remembered the sign for scriptures. and book of mormon. and prophet. #gocougs
3. did you know: apparently there's a bit of confusion in my head somewhere. my brain is all like : oh ! foreign language. asl....french....close enough. there were all kinds of wacky translations jumping around in my head. oh la la. 
4. so now i'm thinking about auditing some asl classes this summer...yay for school...
5. definitely forgot i was interpreting for someone, closed my eyes, folded my arms, and neglected to interpret the first half of the prayer. #shame. (don't worry; we figured it out real quick.)
6. thank goodness for sharie, who was my interpreting buddy, we roughed it out together. emphasis on the rough.  

so. 
i think, maybe the moral of the story here, is that actually, some of the things you learn in school will eventually come in handy, and you probably won't see it coming, and you probably will wish you had paid better attention in class.

~or~

(maybe the actual moral here is that you're capable of getting through tricky situations decently enough regardless of how many classes you skip, and how much actual knowledge you are lacking because of it...i like that moral better...)

i felt so useful though...like hi, good thing my life goal is basically to overload on the language classes. shout out to all the kids who've ever thought i was a freak for doing that.
(no, but it's okay, i am kind of a freak. #embracingit)

okay.
so. i hope you all get an unexpected opportunity soon to help someone even though you feel 100% completely inadequate and unprepared.
it's kind of fun. (it's also kind of terrifying, and you might not realize you were capable of sweating and shaking that much. ew.)

also if you'd all pray for the finals i have to take this week....i'd love that. thanks.
stay cute mes amis.
<3

(also, update with the allergic reaction craziness: we still aren't quite sure what i'm allergic to... but i can breathe again. the hives are mostly gone...and i have a cute little epipen that i get to bring everywhere with me now, just in case, you know, i stop breathing again.)
(but honestly, with my intense fear of needles...i'd probably end up dying. like: k, stab myself with the epipen and breathe...or avoid the needle and possibly die....no, please...not the needle......*dead*) (i'm like 99% sure i wouldn't be able to stab myself and i'd just let myself die. but hey, hopefully it never comes to that.)

(here, i've added this photo, so in case it ever does come to that, you'll all have been briefed and will be capable of stabbing me. you might save my life. thanks.)

k.
loveyoubyeforrealthistime.
<3

hives.

so you know, i'll admit: at first i was totally like, sweet, allergic reaction. better seek medical attention. maybe this will get me out of class!

no.
i have since changed my mind.

oh ! and.
faq: what exactly is your body reacting to?
we're not one hundred percent sure. so that's cool.

1. do you even know how unpleasant hives are ? so many hives. hives everywhere. itch itch itch itch.  
• oh look, they've spread to my face, do these hives make my eyes pop? probably.
• oooh, hives on my fingers. that makes typing and texting and test taking super. super. interesting. i just want to be able to bend my fingers all the way again, you know?
• great! hives on the bottoms of my feet. walking. no. 
• a personal favorite might be the hives that started popping up in my mouth. or the ones in my ears. "sorry, what did you say? couldn't hear you through my hives..."
2. hives are even more unpleasant while you're trying to take finals. fyi.
3. hospitals. i hate them. mostly i hate the shots that they give me there. did you know i'm terrified of shots? like completely, irrationally, debilitatingly scared of shots. like "sorry, hun, we have to give you a shot. this one might be a bit painful..." annnnd bam. tears everywhere. it didn't even hurt that bad, calm down kailey. (to be fair, i was actually pretty calm. hard to be freaking out too much when you're going into shock...)
4. you know what's really special ? waking up and realizing: holy cow...i really miss oxygen. i want oxygen. why am i not getting oxygen. #hivesinmythroat?
5. 5 benadryls later, and nothing. (by nothing, i mean no pleasant changes. not nothing as in no hives, because those babies are still in full force.)
6. hives are apparently very persistent. a bunch of hospital visits, shots, steriods, zyrtec, xanax, benadryl, and allegra later, still here. and going quite strong, might i add.
7. "weird, we've never seen a reaction quite like this one!" well of course you haven't ! #bouchercurse.
8. if i wear tight clothes, they rub my hives. if i wear loose clothes, they tickle my hives. so....like i just shouldn't wear clothes ? pretty sure that's against the honor code.
9. apparently being covered in revolting hives increases your likelihood of seeing everyone you know every time you have to leave the house. i'd like to make a public apology to anyone and everyone who might have seen my "homeless no makeup covered in hives just came from the hospital and haven't actually done my hair yet" look yesterday. i'm so, so sorry. that's the stuff nightmares are made of. 
10. another faq: can i do anything for you?
• yes. i'd like a magic pill to get rid of my symptoms, and someone to take all of my tests and go to all of my classes for me.
• also food please, because when you're taking this many pills, you really really don't want to have an empty stomach. learned that one the hard way.(but don't worry, my mom seems to have this one covered.)
• entertain me. except wait. jk, lol, i can't actually move. oh my gosh. allergic reactions are major joy killers.

so anyway. that's my update. 
don't worry, i'm like 99% sure i'm not dying. (and the other 1 percent is mostly just like no actually, please kill me, i hurt.)

...thank goodness for ice packs amiright?

basically what i'm trying to say, i guess, is: this week when you're all complaining about how awful the end of the semester/finals/essays and all that junk are....just remember: at least you're not going through the allergic reaction from you know where. (h***)

[you know. i'm all about that optimism.]

k. good luck with finals everyone.
<3 

is it still a mask?

so once upon a time (back when life was grand and i was living in paris, and my biggest struggle was the fact that i had to go to bernie's art class), i was sitting in the branly,
and bernie pointed to some masks, and asked:
"if they are stuck on a wall, are they still masks?"

at this point in time, i was really just so done with bernie's antics, you know ? like we get it, bern, you're super deep and artsy good for you.
like, this question exasperated me.

i refused to actually answer, because bernie and i were never really on very good speaking terms, but i sat there and screamed (in my head) freaking bernie, obviously they are still masks, even if they are not currently serving the purpose they were meant to serve, okay ?

k so, no one tell bernie, but....last night i realized (oh the places my mind wanders in the middle of the night...),
there could definitely be a deeper point to the "mask or not a mask" question.

i've been thinking a lot lately about provo and it's people. (obvs this is applicable to more than just the residents of provo, but...i live in provo, so, voila.)
i've been thinking a lot about how they all feel the need to put on this happy face. this perfect little facade, because heaven forbid someone in provo have a less than perfect life, amiright?

i mean, you look at these perfect little provobots
and they look great,
they look put together,
they wear their happy face,
and everyone assumes they're happy.

so if a face looks happy...
and if a face acts happy...
but that happiness isn't actually happy at all...
is it still happiness ?

if the happiness is sitting on someone's face, rather than pounding inside of their heart,
if the happiness is smiling and laughing but not actually feeling...
if the happiness isn't serving the purpose it is meant to serve...
is it still happiness ?

i was talking to someone recently, and he asked me "when people tell us they're going through a hard time and they need help, how can we help them?'

and so i answered honestly (i'm really good at that, especially when i know what i have to say isn't what people want to hear), "if someone is going through a hard time, if someone needs help...they probably won't tell you."

i think he was really confused.
i don't think he got my point. he just kind of went on to say that it's important to help people when they need help. and i mean, i agree.

but. the issue there was so much bigger.
just be kind. if you see someone and you think hey, they look like they could use a friend right now, just help.
don't wait for people to ask, because they probably won't. don't wait until the moment is right, because there's never a right (or maybe never a wrong) moment to be a friend.

people are sad and angry and lonely and we don't even know it because they're wearing these ridiculous masks, trying to hide, because they don't feel like they're worth seeing right now.

honestly, i still think bernie is stupid, and a mask is a mask even if it's hanging on a wall, instead of sitting on someone's face. but. i guess i see his point : we need to stop accepting things blindly, without questioning whether or not we're actually seeing what we think we're seeing.

i guess the moral of the story here, is that it is always better to be kind than to be right. it is always better to be a friend than to be an enemy, and you probably don't know as much as you think you know, so pay attention to the details and see the real picture instead of the pretty picture.

deal?
deal.
[#sorrynotsorry for the rant. i'm really good at those.]

love you all.
<3

hopefully this makes you feel better about your life.

these past few weeks have been exceptionally weird,
and since i've basically accepted the fact that my life is a comedy show of awkward that exists purely for the enjoyment of the general population,
i thought i might as well blog the weirdness.

so.

french class. teacher: "kailey, what's your favorite possesion?' (other people had responded with these sentimental, well thought out things like, the quilt their grandma made, or their watch collection.)

.....and then there's me, like: "euhhh...jesaispas peut-etre mon frigo? ou plutot les choses dedans..."(translation: um. i dont know, my fridge? or more like the things inside of my fridge...)

and. yesterday my french teacher legitimately announced to the class: "don't forget, kailey is in the back corner...you guys can work with her, you know..."
oh geez. thanks pal. (i'm trying to tell myself he has a soft spot for me and genuinely wants me to make friends but i think mostly he just thinks i don't know how to socialize like a normal human.)

and then can we just talk about the fact that alex and i are supposed to have 4 roommates, but we actually have 5...? (we refer to her as #5. or cinquieme. we've never asked her name. but we think she might secretly be a stripper.)

and then there's my spanish teacher who constantly throws out things like:

• "kailey you're always doodling. is it because you're in love?" (he's convinced i'm in love. convinced i have a secret boyfriend.) lololol okay little guy (no. i just like to doodle.)
• and "kailey, you're always frowning, please don't forget to smile." (oh sorry, that's just my natural glare. nothing personal.) 
• and "kailey, i feel like you probably like to stay up really late. do you stay up late and party?" (no comment.)

[but it's okay, because i actually think he likes me...despite the fact that i accidentally go all french mode during spanish class. every. single. time.] 

ohhhh and. so. sometimes i sneak off to take "bathroom breaks" with my cute megan at work.
a normal boss might get annoyed by this.
my boss?
"kailey, i'm so glad to see you socializing! i feel like a proud parent."

but guys i actually socialize all the freaking time, i'm just very selective okay?


also, today i realized: the tap water at boost tastes like the tap water chez my host mom, so i drank my whole bottle of water in like a minute flat.

life.is.so.weird. good thing i've got that awkward kailey confidence that you might never know exists but does. you know, the type that people always try to copy, but never really can.

ohlala.

okay. i could probably keep going but...
these songs are important:

because this song is the saddest, most beautiful thing.

and because this one is perfect. just perfect: 

annnnd finally, this one, is perfect in a completely different but still valid sort of way: 

 

now.

i should probably go do my french homework. (anyonewanttowritemystupidfrenchessay?) (hi mom.)

<3

p.s: it's kams birthday ! he's 12 today, and it's kind of freaking me out.
(okay. weird request: he got a phone, and since it's his first birthday with a phone, we want to overload him with random, fun happy birthday texts. so. text this number : 3852696038. say happy birthday, and then sign it from a random famous person, or your favorite character...whatever. he'll love it. i promise it wont be weird.)

too awkward for college.

so there's this kid in my french class, right ?
and he has friends.
and he usually sits with those friends, and talks with those friends, and partners up with those friends during class.

usually :
french teacher : "okay class, everyone turn around and work with a partner."
*everyone partners up and kailey is left awkward and alone in the back of the classroom.*
*teacher comes over to make awkward small talk with kailey and make sure she is doing okay, and understanding the assignment.*

bonjour, yes, i'm fine it's just that there is an odd number of kids in this class and kailey doesn't know any of these classmates. but like, that's fine. kailey likes to work alone.

however, recently the aforementioned kid with friends has taken to sitting in front of kailey, instead of with his friends. (which is kind of unfortunate because he is quite tall, and i am...significantly less tall.)

anyway.

he still talks to his friends from across the classroom. 
but now, every time the teacher says
"okay class, everyone turn around and work with a partner."
the kid turns around immediately like "okay kailey let's get this over with" (...okay, he doesn't actually say that but the unspoken words are practically tangible.)

every.
time.

and the teacher glances over at kailey and the boy every once in a while, with what i could swear is a hint of pride in his eyes.

okay look :

1. the kid has other friends. he doesn't need to partner with kailey.
2. the only time he talks to kailey is when the teacher tells everyone to find a partner.
3. as a sort of unspoken rule, byu boys don't talk to kailey. like ever. [iamnotexaggerating.]

...basically : i'm like 80 percent sure that my french teacher has bribed this boy into being my partner, because he feels like i'm just that pathetic awkward.

lol.
i'm too awkward for college. 

at this point, i've just accepted the fact that my life is an awkward comedy show that exists purely to entertain the rest of the world.

that's okay though.
because 120 days from now, i'll be in paris, so like....
nothing else really matters anymore.

....also i'd just really like to take this moment to ask : why the freaking heck does everyone in provo think "game nights" are a good idea ? like do you honestly get enjoyment out of playing stupid board games with a big group of people you don't even know ?

look i'm sorry but i don't see the enjoyment in that, okay ?

i need to get out of provo.

anyway.
life is fine.
at least i have a job again.

please enjoy this short clip that is basically a depiction of my life in provo :

<3

worst day.

ironic little bugger:

today was the actual worst day of my life. 

the light bulb exploded in my bathroom this morning. probs should've taken that as a bad omen.

so like,
apparently my parking pass had expired.
and i had a boot.
on my tire.
but i had no idea....
until i started driving and cruuuuunch. that sound shouldn't be happening. okay great. look. a boot.

so i called the boot removal place.
"okay that'll be 60$. we'll be there in half an hour."
....*kailey waiting outside in the freezing cold*
*checks phone call history.* [57 minutes later. no sign of boot removal man.]
*calls boot removal man*
"hi, i called about an hour ago, and was told someone would be here to remove the boot on my car within 30 minutes."
"well, it certainly hasn't been an hour!"
okay look weenie, check my phone call history, it has been 57 minutes, so yeah, i guess you're right. it's been 3 minutes short of an hour but you know what you're still 27 minutes late.

anyway. he finally got here.

boot removal man: "okay, so you broke the boot....um...so i'll actually have to charge you 225$. not 60$."

boot removal man: "wow, the boot is stuck. i might have to take your tire off."

boot removal man: "shoot, looks like the boot is stuck in your breaks. your tire won't come off..."

boot removal man: "this is probably the second worst case i've ever worked on."

boot removal man: "congratulations, this is actually the worst case i. have. ever. worked. on."

boot removal man: "well i can't get the boot off, and i can't get your tire back on. so i'm just going to leave."

*kailey says a lot of bad words in her head*
*kailey cries a little bit*
*kailey complains to quentin.*

*dad calls and talks to boot removal man.*

boot removal man: "oh look...the tire came off!"

boot removal man: "i'm sorry, i understand, this is inconvenient for me too."

okay no, weenie, you're actually getting paid right now, so if you could just go stick your head in  a toilet or something....

....and that's how i became a murderer.

anyway.
alex and i finally made it home for lunch.
at 6.

the moral of the story might be that i am an angry crier. or that sometimes you just need a hug when idiots have no idea how to fix your tire. or maybe the moral of the story is it's important to have a good husband who will comfort you on your worst days. (merci.)

whatevs. at least my mom made me a cake. (the actual moral of the story is probably that cake makes everything a little less bad.)

<3