ode to ducks.

it all started innocently enough; my passion for ducks.
heck, maybe i'm just a sucker for birds...but we'll save the pigeon story(ies?) for another day.
anyway.
ducks.

once upon a time, i was translating a blog at work.
i had to tie in a soap commercial about ducks, to the phrase "baignade interdite"(translation: swimming prohibited.)

one thing lead to another, and before i knew it, i had come up with this incredibly cheesy motivational blog post. my favorite phrase, by far was : "maintenant je dis 'baignade interdite!' et je le dis pour les canards."
translation: now i say 'swimming prohibited!' and i say it for the ducks.
woah. can. you. feel. the motivation?
take a moment. let it sink in.

translating that blog was a pretty big moment for me. you could even say: it changed me.
since that day, i have credited many random verbalizations to the ducks. it just feels good.

so you can imagine the excitement i felt upon realizing that: ducks basically rule byu campus. 
no, really. i dont know where all of these little dudes come from, but they. are. everywhere.
and i love them. (also i'm a little bit scared of them. because: they can beak you.)

[beak: \ˈbēk\ verb.
when a bird uses its beak to attack you.]

anyway. they bring me so much unexpected joy as i stroll around campus, that i feel that it would be ungrateful of me if i didn't publicly honor les petits canards.
alors,

ode to ducks.

eh, bonjour monsieur canard!
i love you!
(please don't beak me.)

i love the way you waddle around,
just waiting for someone to throw you some food.

i love that when my french class goes outside,
you decide to join us. just because you can.
do you care about your education?
or did the bag of skittles draw you in?

i love the way you 
quack
   quack
      quack.
try as i might, i can never do the sound justice.
(and i do try.)

thank you for not having giant teeth.
it makes the risk of being beaked much less prominent.
(but it's still a valid fear, so please keep your distance.)

little duck, i dont know where you come from.
but you definitely make campus a better place.
also, i bet you never even have a problem following the honor code.
(but beaking someone would probably count as breaking the honor code...so.)

oh to be a duck,
and mindlessly waddle around campus,
no homework, no cares...
just being fed random scraps of food.
waddlewaddle. yum. waddle.
      waddle.

petit canard,
you are so funny. 
pour toi, je dis toujours:
baignade interdite. 

so you just keep on waddling, little duck.
and i'll see you when i get out of class.

and now, undoubtedly the best part of this post...

i present to you....

random duck sightings. 

**partial photo cred to katie. thanks, cupcake.

okay. 
sorry for the randomness...
but actually not sorry...
i did it for the ducks, you know. 

....bedtime for kailey.
night, cutie pies.
<3

winning life: roommates and march madness for dummies.

perhaps you are confused. why does the title of this post claim to have march madness information for sports dummies?
you're probably thinking: oh, the irony! isn't kailey, like, the sports dummy?

1. first of all, rude. 
2. but, fine. a little bit true.
3. for your information: i love march madness. 
4. (no. i still do not like basketball.)

anyway.
why do i love march madness so much?

i love to win.
it's what i do.
mostly i just like prizes.
my family has a yearly march madness competition. my daddy offers a 50$ prize.
i still remember the day he first offered that beautiful 50$. it was like, all of a sudden: i cared about money sports.

and, i'll have you know: i won that year.
so. in case you're like i used to be, and really couldn't care less about sports, but have suddenly found yourself interested in some friendly march madness competition...
i'm about to share all of my best "how to win march madness" strategies. (they've been almost proven fairly successful. so there's that.

when creating a march madness bracket, i would urge you to consider the following:

1. look at the little number beside the team. (on the bracket.) (i never claimed to be competent in sports terminology.) like, okay, if you have a 9 team going against a 1 team..."we're number one!" isn't this just obvious?
2. maybe you choose to forgo the little numbers; cool. i like to live on the edge too. the next important thing to consider is team colors. pick the team who has better colors.
3. shoot! you like both teams colors? easy. which team lives in a warmer place?  which one is closer to a beach?
4. lastly- and use this one at your own risk, because its test results have yet to be seen- which teams state would you rather vacation in?

now!
moving on to bigger and better things:

my roommate and i were texting each other today, and i really thought what we came up with was too valuable not to share.
so, i give you....

how to get along with your roommates, for dummies!

1. roommates that eat together, stay together. <3
2. boys cause unnecessary problems. not that we would really know. just go on dates with your roommates.
3. get super lucky and end up with a roommate that likes to clean the bathroom. do your part and tackle the leaning tower of dishes when cleaning checks come around.
4. respect bedtimes. this includes but is not limited to: no screaming in the stairwells at 2 am.
5. constantly re-decorate with random dollar store finds. the dollar store outings are great bonding time.
6. skip ward activities sometimes. oh gosh, i'm a sinner. your roommates are your family.
7. one man is enough. as long as he is made out of cardboard. and dresses up for each holiday.
8. if you all share one bathroom, and someone is in the shower but you literally have never had to pee so badly in your life, its okay to ask permission to use the toilet. heck. maybe even make up a secret knock that means : "hi, i'm coming in to pee."
9. sharing is caring. share in each others successes. everything anyone in the apartment does contributes to the overall success of all the roommates. so duh... every time one of you succeeds? you should probably all reward yourselves.
•  for example: sweet! kassidy got an a on her econ test? we'd better all go buy brownies. 
10.  be fine tuned in the art of knowing your roommates thoughts. this could come in handy during apples to apples. ewww. games. at least we won. (play it safe and always choose food related cards). winning games is nice because: as previously mentioned, you've got to reward success.
11. keep a mental list of things that should be free and/or reasons that boys have it easier than girls. this will give you a common point of complaint that is not each other.
12. make your roommates delicious food every once in a while. you don't need a reason. delicious food is the reason.
13. just accept the fact that sometimes you might have to gain your freshman 15 in one night. eating french fries. it's probably worth it. you'll jog across campus later to get to your car and that'll cancel everything out....right?? (just to be clear- i didn't actually gain 15 pounds. so.)
14. bond with your roommates by texting them little updates about your day. especially all the awkward moment stories. (its fine if they don't reply.) this will at least give you the warmth of knowing that you made your roommate chuckle.
15. dont be afraid to be weird with your roommates. if you all flirt with your food (yes, flirt with your food) enough... eventually you might be surprised to find that: you've actually acquired some valuable social skills!
16. disregard the opinions of those not living in the apartment. irrelevant! unimportant!
17. go to lots of dances even if you suck at dancing and have a fear of socializing. it might not be fun, but the awkward stories will be priceless.
18. passive agressively plan out your revenge on loud neighbors before you go to bed every night. even though you'll never follow through with the brilliance you discuss,  it just feels good to get it out there. 
19. if a boy wont stop bothering your roommate: keep yourself between them and your roommate. that's true love. 
20. if you and one roommate have to fake a bathroom break because of anxiety, and you leave the other roommate socializing and helpless: don't actually go to the bathroom. immediately begin making an escape plan for the roommate left behind.

i promise: these work.
my roommates and i have never even had an argument.
but that could just be because we are perfect.
just kidding.
sort of.

anyway. now i'm off to class. (booooooo.)

good luck with all of your roommate and march madness adventures, cutie pies!
<3

***roommate advice cowritten/texted by kassidy manuel.***

apparently i missed something...

okay, okay, okay.
i don't mean to freak anyone out, or anything.. but i think there is some sort of serious illness going around provo.

it all started a couple of weeks ago, innocently enough. 
my roommates and i showed up to church.
(you know, our singles ward.)
we sat down.
we looked around.

wait. why is everyone paired up?
why are all the girls wearing engagement rings!?

i'm just worried.
everyone seems to be infected with a bad case of "i have to get married immediately", and hey, that's great. maybe you're super in love, and all that jazz. cool. good.
and i get it. the semester is coming to an end soon, time is running out...wouldn't want to miss your chance, right? i mean, that's why we all came to byu anyway. to get married. right? wait! i thought i was here to like...learn or something?! 
but i just...really? you met him this month, and bam! "hey let's spend the rest of forever, together!"
...
whaaaaaaaaaaat?

i honestly don't understand why all of these little baby 18 year olds want to get married so badly. don't you want to like... i dont know... live a little first? or here's an idea: date your future spouse for more than 3 weeks, before agreeing to marry him/her?

how do you even get know someone well enough to marry them in. a. month?!?
i've had a loaf of bread in my freezer for longer than that! you don't see me trying to marry it now, do you!?
(in case it was unclear: no, i have no plans to marry bread.)
(although i do really like bread....hmmm...)

so.
(not that i would know the perks of not being single...but still.) here's a little list of:
why it's great to be single: 

1. you can decide to do completely random study abroads.
2. you can live with really cool roommates, and you can have roommate dates together. and shop for crazy makeup and dresses and other random crap together.
3. freedom.
4. it's actually okay to be alone. like, you might get to know yourself without having to worry about trying to impress some random guy/girl.
5. you can flirt with food. (to get a reaction, of course.)
• okay, fine. maybe this isn't exactly normal. but it's super entertaining. 
• especially when you get your roommates in on it, and everyone at the grocery store thinks you're mentally ill.
• par exemple: hello chocolate. i love you. got any plans friday night? 
• oh my gosh what is wrong with me.
6. you never have to dress up for awkward dates. 
• pajamas for life, yo.
7. you only have to cook for yourself! (this might not be as exciting if you eat enough for two on your own.) (but who does that? that'd be ridiculoso.) (oops. guilty.)
8. bedtime is super easy when it's just you. hooray for 10:00! (except for on the weekends. and thursdays.)
9. you don't have to worry about losing an engagement ring. heaven knows, i would.
10. you only have to clean one set of dishes. assuming you clean your dishes, that is. (the struggle is real.) 

look. i'm not saying don't get married.  i'm just saying: hey, maybe if you're 18, just met the guy last month and have never dated before now...you should hold off a bit longer.

not that i'm a dating/marriage expert. 

hey. did you know birthday cake flavored oreos are a thing?
you're welcome.

also. i'm going to paris in 190 days.
and. i'm going to montreal in 84 days.

oh my gosh when will school just be over already?

oh. and. high five to the random guy in the hallway who decided to take up a sarcastic "come play with us!" offer during our work meeting.
(no, he was not an employee. just a foreign looking and sounding dude, who lives in wolverine crossing and apparently likes games enough to sit in the hallway of his apartment complex and deal with the awkwardness of not knowing the people you are playing with.)  
oops...hooray for run on sentences!

on a completely random note: i would encourage everyone in the whole wide world to learn another language.
it honestly feels like you have a super power.
and you can say whatever the crap you want, and probably no one will understand.
and job opportunities.
so go learn another language! or two.
or three. 
i dare you.

anyway.
have a lovely weekend, my dears.
do something crazy. like...stay up past bedtime. or something. 
<3